Wish I knew back then what I know now. Wish I could somehow go back in time and maybe listen to my own advice.
Letter to little me:
Sweetheart, don’t listen to others. You do you and be happy. Things will change, for better. Be careful who you trust and be loyal to yourself. Go out more and smile every day. You are beautiful. Who cares what your class mate says. He won’t be important to you in few years, he is not worth sleepless nights and wondering ‘’what if he is right?’’. You know who will be important in few years? You and only you. You can go through everything because you will always come out stronger. You might lose yourself few times, but that’s okay. You are human and humans make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you less worth it. Don’t fall for first boy who says ‘’oh I love you’’ after a week, because after a week it’s not love, it’s still simple crush. Don’t have sex because he thinks you should. He is not right. Have sex when you feel like you want too. You are stubborn and that’s okay, but sometimes you need to understand others. You aren’t always right. Yeah rebel phase so cool, you talked back to your parents, you refused to visit relatives, you are too cool for all that right? Darling you are not. Some day you will have your own children, would you like them to act like that to your parents, to refuse visit your brother? You would hate it right? You would keep on asking yourself where you went wrong, why they act like this. How do you feel? Are you proud you are doing it to your parents? Because believe me, they ask themselves why are you refusing to talk with them, why are you refusing to visit people. Go to your grandparents place more, visit them, call them, make sure they know you love them. Because god know they are getting old and they love you. Even if they tell you story for 98th time and you got bored listening to it, it’s important to them, don’t make them sad. Tell them about yourself, make sure they are not missing out. Because when they die, you will wish for one last hug and one last I love you from them. Make sure you tell them enough while they are alive. Don’t miss out on the chances to hug them. Your parents are getting older, make them proud. Do whatever you love and you will never fail them. Maybe someday they won’t agree with you and that’s okay, because that’s their opinion, still listen to them, show them that you care. Show them that you love them. And your brother? He is the best thing in your world you know that, you love him and you would do everything for him wouldn’t you? You protect him and you fight for him, with him. Keep him in your life. You know his smile means the world to you, his happiness is the world to you. He loves you and you love him. He is more than a brother to you, he is like your best friend. You know he protects you and wants the best for you, don’t be too stubborn and lose that with him.
Without him you wouldn’t be the person you are today, he gives you his brotherly love and it feels amazing. Without your parents you wouldn’t be here today, you wouldn’t be like you are today, they gave you life, they were everything you needed when you were little, they were always here for you, they love you and their love is unique. Without your grandparents you wouldn’t feel the love only grandparents can give you, you would miss out a lot. Without your aunts and uncles you wouldn’t have another ‘’parents’’ you know they love you and they all want what is the best for you. Don’t lose them, don’t let it happen, don’t be too stubborn or to proud to spend time with them. You love them, you know you do.
Have a great day, Nastja x.